LifeChange

Adoption & Foster Care in Indiana - Info Session

Every child deserves a family, 

and everyone can make a difference!

Information meeting on Adoption and Foster Care in Indiana

November 11^th 6:30pm -8:00pm

 at the Life Church Offices
700 N. High School Rd.
Indianapolis, IN  46214

November is 'National Adoption Awareness Month', especially set aside to raise awareness about the adoption of our children and youth from the foster care system. On November 11^th, LaDonna Wattley, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Adoption Consultant, will be conducting an informal presentation on Foster Care and Adoption in Indiana from 6:30pm-8:00pm at the Life Church Offices. If you’ve ever considered adoption, know someone who might be, or are just interested in learning more about the foster care and adoption processes in Indiana, we would like to welcome you to attend this event.  Please RSVP to Tara Prater at tlhobson@iupui.edu or Angie Moncrief at ammoncrief@sbcglobal.net so we are sure to have enough literature for everyone.  Feel free to email with any questions.  Hope to see you there at the Life Church offices next Wednesday.

How To Re-Adopt In Indiana

We recently just started the re-adoption process for Maya and Keira here in Indiana.  This is required in most states for any foreign adoption your child travels back to the US on an IR-4 visa.  With our first adoption we paid a lawyer $500 to do it.  This time after learning about the process we decided to do it ourselves and save the money.  It's actually an easy process that will only take 2-3 hours of your time between filling out the paperwork and going to government center.  Since a lot of people have contacted us about this here are the details on how the process works.

The Forms
You will need these forms (note these are all specific to Indiana):

Record of Adoption
Medical History Form
Order Recognizing Foreign Adoption
Petition Recognizing Foreign Adoption

Contact Person
As of October 2009 this is the current contact for questions or issues related to re-adopting in the state of Indiana:

Denise Safford

Mental Health & Adoption Coordinator

Marion County Superior Court 8

Probate Division

317-327-5015; fax 317-327-4512; DSAFFORD@indy.gov

What To Do
Directions on filling out the forms and what to do with them are below.  This is text copied directly from an email I received from Denise:

Please complete the Petition and bring to court the original (notarized) and 3 copies.  Complete the Order (except for the judge signature!!) and bring the original and 3 copies.  Complete the Record of Adoption (ROA) and just print off one copy – bring with you to court.  There is no filing fee, however you need to bring two (2) separate checks for the Indiana State Department of Health (ISDH).  The first check is for $20.00 and is for the upkeep of the state registry.  The second check is for the actual birth certificate – one copy will cost $10.00, if you want two (2) copies the cost is $14.00 and three (3) copies are $18.00 – this is a per child cost.  Every time the petition, order or record of adoption asks for the child’s name it means the name of the child PRIOR to the adoption in the foreign country.  You will see where the name changes from “A” to “B” on all three documents.  For the ROA just complete parts I & II – I will complete part III after the paperwork has been completed and filed.  The petition asks for certain documents – you may attach copies (with the English translation).  You want to keep your originals in your own personal file.

Please print the medical history PDF file and complete it and then make a copy.  You may not know any of the child’s history so just leave it blank, but please sign the form and date it.  Bring both the original and copy to court.

 

When you come to court, please come to room 1721 on the 17^th floor of the City-County 

Building.  You will have to go through security so please refrain from bring anything into the building that you would normally not be taking into an airport.  Ask the bailiff to see a commissioner for domesticating a foreign adoption. 

Do you believe it is possible? (Desperation Band music video)

Throughout life we face inflection points where we've got to make a choice about what we will believe.  Will we believe God is able?  That God will come through?  That we will make it?  What we believe is a choice.  Any family going through the process of adoption asks this question frequently as they face challenges and setbacks.  Courtney and I have chosen to live a life believing the best and believing our God is able. 

This is a powerful music video from Desperation Band and their new song "Light Up The World" about God intervening here on the earth and specifically in the lives of the millions of orphans around the world!

Three Week Family Update

It's hard to believe that we've already been home for three weeks!  Everyone is doing well and we continue to adjust to our new 'normal.'  This week was Courtney's first regular week back at work and her schedule seemed to work well.  Our long term goal is to get Courtney to where she can at least cut back (she's currently working 3 days a week) or even stay at home!

The girls are doing well.  Maya is getting more expressive and making her presence known.  She's still not saying much but seems to have bonded with us really well and her two siblings.  Keira makes us laugh all the time with her crazy facial expressions.  We think Maya will be the motherly, caring one while Keira will be the outgoing, life of the party type. 

The only lingering issue we have is both girls are fighting an intestinal parasite called Giardia. It doesn't make them feel bad or sick, it just causes them to have lots of dirty diapers.  We have medicine for it but it may last another few weeks.  We're just tired of changing about 4 poopy diapers a day per child.  For our sake I hope it goes away soon!

Noah continues to learn to be big brother.  He is interacting more with the girls and we know this because many more 'fights' are happening these days in our house.  Everything from toys, to sippy cups, to blankets and attention from Mom and Dad are potential for sad and upset siblings.  I guess it's all normal and part of having brothers and sisters (even thought I never remember fighting with my sister growing up... ok, just kidding!)

On the adoption front our journey is not yet complete.  We still have the process of re-adoption which is required to make it legal here in the US.  Right now both girls are considered legal residents and should be getting their green cards soon.  Re-adoption will make them officially US Citizens, get a social security number, and US birth certificate.  The last thing we want to do right now is mess with a bunch more paperwork but we don't have an option.  We'll write more about the re-adoption process as we move along.

Update After One Week Home

We have been home as a family of five for one full week now.  What a week it has been.  It has been filled with highs and lows, as we all adjust to our expanded family and way of life.  We've been taking it a day at a time.  We've spent a lot of time overwhelmed and not sure what to do, but the joys and reminders from God along the way of His approval and guidance far outweigh any negatives.  Thought I'd provide a brief update on each of the kids and how they're adjusting...

Keira - what a change she's gone through.  A complete turnaround from the first few days we had here where she made no noise, had no expression and didn't move.  She is full of energy and smiles.  We had a battle with her the first few days about taking naps but she has now adjusted to her new schedule and routine.  She eats everything and would eat all day if we let her (as you can see by this picture.)  Not sure if she's still in orphanage mode (eat everything you can as you're not sure when the next chance to eat will be) or if her little body has a high metabolism.  The biggest struggle we have with her is she is really attached to Courtney and wants to be held A LOT.  She cries often when Courtney can't hold her for some reason.

Maya - Self confident, independent and intelligent would be how I'd describe her first week at home.  She obeys almost all our instructions and always wants to help out.  She's been very quiet (no noise unless she's laughing or afraid) so the doctor was a little concerned about that but we're going to give her 4-6 weeks to see how she progresses.  She also eats very well and actually feeds herself better then Noah does.  Biggest challenge with Maya are her tantrums she throws when she doesn't get something or gets in trouble.  I can tell we will never have to discipline her much, telling her No and giving her a stern look brings her to tears.  Funny note:  Maya is afraid of animals.  She has screamed multiple times when seeing our rocking horse, some of Noah's stuffed animals, or even an animal on TV.  Not sure if she's had a bad experience in the past or she just hasn't been around them much. Good thing we don't have any house pets... we've just got to get her used to the fake ones :)

Noah - High energy, likes to play and wants your attention.  We have noticed him being more needy and demanding our focus more then before, which is understandable.  We continue to work on his development and speech but continue to see progress.  We see a few instances each day where he plays the role of big brother and helps his sisters out or plays with them.  Most of the time he does his own thing unless a toy he wants is being used by someone else, then he exerts his size and age... so sharing is something we're working on a lot :)

Days #11 & #12: Heading Home

We made it!  We are now home on American soil, the girls have made it in the US, and we are reunited with Noah!  To finish our travel journey (as our journey of a family of five is just beginning) I thought I'd give you a quick recap of what happened.

Thursday - your prayers worked!  Everything went as we needed it to and described here.  "T" our AWAA representative picked up our visas just before the Embassy closed at 5PM.  Along with our visas each family was given a sealed yellow enveloped that could not be opened until we saw an immigration office at the point of re-entry in Washington D.C. We finished packing and head to the airport about 6:45PM for our 10:15PM flight out of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

Friday - The flight home went fairly well.  There were no flight delays or baggage issues which was good.  We learned in our flight from Rwanda that Maya has some difficulty when planes are descending and her ears would hurt but that didn't really happen until our final flight in to Indianapolis. 

We did get a prescription strength sedative (Kara, the mom in one of the other families is a nurse practitioner) that we gave to several of the kids to help them sleep.  This was a big help for several of the families and with Maya.  Keira slept very well (adoptive families - Benadryl works like this as well... this is what we used with Noah last time so be sure to take some)  Spending 26 hours in planes and airports is a long time for the kids so helping them get some sleep is important.  My Mom and Sister did an amazing job with the girls on the plane, especially Maya who can be stubborn at times.  Here's a picture of them with her.

When we got to D.C. we did learn that the IR-4 Visas had an error on them.  They said all the children were of Ethiopian nationality (not Rwandan) even though it had their birthplace right as Rwanda.  This is something we noticed on the flight home but at that point it was too late to do anything about it.  The Higgin's family got held up in Immigration for this, our officer did not catch it.  We were told this may cause issues during readoption so we'll see.  Lesson - double check all government documents you get from anywhere (remember one family had a similiar issue with their Rwandan Passport for their child in Rwanda with an incorrect birth date.)

Courtney's family and Kudzie were in the airport to welcome us home.  It was SOOOO good to see Noah again.  At first he was a little reserved and didn't respond to us, but after a few minutes he wouldn't let me sit him down (or give him to his Mom which Courtney didn't like.)  He seemed to have gotten bigger while we were gone (and I think we were also so used to holding Maya and Keira who are significantly smaller them him!) 

Anyways, we're back home now.  I'm writing this at 6AM Saturday morning.  The girls went to bed very well last night.  Maya woke up about 5AM but went back to sleep, I couldn't.  Feeling a little overwhelmed as we start our first full day as a family of five, but God spoke to me through this verse today:

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." - 2 Corinthians 8:9

Day #7: Goodbye Rwanda, Hello Ethiopia!

Today was our last day in Rwanda.  This morning we went to the orphanage.  We got to take a tour and see all the different children areas and also where they care for the elderly and disabled.  It was an emotional time as all the Sisters that worked with Maya and Keira were coming up hugging them and saying goodbye.  You could tell it was bittersweet for the Sisters as they were sad the girls are leaving but happy they have found a home.

The flight to Ethiopia went well untill about the last 15 minutes and then it became the most stressful flight I've ever been on... Maya decided she would start screaming (which she can do well) and did it for 15 minute straight.  We're not sure if it was because of the altitude change, the lights being turned out, her being super tired, or she just decided to throw a tantrum. 

Then we spent the next 2 hours in the Ethiopian Airport waiting in lines.  Most of the time was waiting for our Ethiopian visas which every person arriving to Ethiopia must get.  It took awhile as our children's request for visas had to be escalated to the Chief Officer of Ethiopian Immigration as they rarely give visas to Rwandans on arrival (they typically have to apply for a visa several weeks ahead of time.)  However since they were all children they decided sending them back on a plane to Rwanda wasn't feasable :)

We arrived at the Yebasabi Guest House tonight about 9:00PM.  It's a great place to stay, much nicer then where we stayed in Rwanda and even nicer then the Hilton we stayed in last time in Ethiopia.  Right no we're extremely tired and have an early start tomorrow.  Goodnight!

Day 6: Lake, Party & Our Girls

Today was a very relaxing day compared to the last few.  This morning we drove an hour out of the city to this lake where we had a picnic.  It was great to see more of the Rwandan countryside.  Rwanda is a beautiful country with lots of hills (it's called "The Land Of A Thousand Hills") and a variety of vegetation as you change altitudes.  In the city of Kigali it looks more tropical while out in the country there were trees and pine trees which reminded us of the U.S.  Here's a picture of us on one of the dock's at the lake.

Tonight we went the Nyanja's house (she's the lady that is our host and directs the activities in Rwanda, interfacing wtih our adoption agency (she doesn't work for them)... pictured below with all our adopted children) for her son Solomon's three year old birthday party.  There were about 30 other adults and kids there (see kids in picture to left.)  It was fun to experience a Rwandan 'party' while eating some amazing food.  Watching her son really made Courtney and I miss Noah.  We called him when we got back to the hotel and are really looking forward to coming home to see him soon!

Nyanja also gave each of the mom's a traditional Rwandan wrap that mothers use to carry their children.  Then Nyanja and her Mom showed us how to use them.  You can see Courtney below carrying Maya around.  Maya loved it!  I guess it's supposed to be extremely relaxing and soothing for the children.  I told Courtney she can carry one of the kids around while she does work around the house or cut hair... she didn't like that idea :)

The highlight of the day was the progress our girls made.  Up until today Keira had been pretty inexpressive, inactive and just wanted to be held or lay there.  However, after six days of being with us she finally started opening up!  She smiled and even laughed several times throughout the day.  She started jibber jabbing some and started moving around a lot.  Now we're having a hard time getting her stay still for a nap or diaper change.

Maya also is becoming more expressive.  She is definitely recognizing us as her parents and preferring us to other adults which is a good sign.  Both girls also had a lot of fun playing with Grandma tonight back in the hotel room.  Grandma said she is worn out!

For those parents adopting, what we've been experiencing is common.  These kids are going through a dramatic event in their lives that they don't really understand. They are overwhelmed with new attention and new people, while at the same times grieving the loss of everything that was normal in their life.  It's normal for some kids to take days or even weeks before you see their true personalities.  I don't think we're there with Maya or Keira yet but we are making progress which is encouraging!

Day 5: Chaos & Progress

Wow, today was a crazy day.  It got off to a wonderful start as we all had an outstanding night of sleep.  The girls are turning out to be wonderful sleepers like their big brother Noah.  Thank you to everyone that has been praying specifically for this as your prayers are working!

First thing on the schedule was the U.S. Embassy which we have been told (and from our experience in Ethiopia) should be straight forward and quick.  I knew it was going to be a long day because while we were at security a Special Agent came out from the embassy, introduced himself and pulled my mom and another guy in the group aside.  They had taken pictures of the embassy and the Special Agent was checking to see if they had security cameras in the picture.  The other guy in our group was fine, my mom was not... she had to delete her picture.  Can't take my Mom anywhere without her causing trouble! :)  He was nice and helped her take this picture of the embassy though.

Over the next 6 hours we were in the embassy at the US Consulate Office three times and the Rwandan Immigration office three times.  Thankfully the two buildings are only about 4 blocks apart, but carrying bags, kids and lots of paper work made for a very stressful time.  Every family in our group had paperwork issues at some point.  For most of the day it looked like we would have to stay in Rwanda a few extra days and our trip to Ethiopia would also be extended.  However, even through all the chaos, stress, tears,and uncertainty God showed up countless times.  Instead of giving a detailed account of what happened (as that would take awhile) I'll just share some of the ways God intervened today:

• We forgot a receipt we needed... the Consulate let us not pay the amount today and wait until Ethiopia next week.  She shouldn't do this!  Also, tonight my good friend Michael Dean spent two hours looking for the receipt and sending me electronic copies of it!
• Rwandan Passports were ready on time!  This wasn't expected as we turned in our applications yesterday.
• One family needed a passport re-issued... happened in 1 hour.  That NEVER happens... especially in a country where time has little meaning.
• The Consulate stayed 3 1/2 hours late just to help us!  She missed a 9/11 celebration, embassy cookout, and shortened a meeting with her boss (the US Ambassador to Rwanda) to accommodate us.
• Extreme favor with security guards, the Consulate, the Rwandan Immigration office, and our driver.  All these individuals played key roles in our day and while at first were not willing to cooperate, and should not have done what they did... in the end they DID! 

I know so many of you are praying for us.  I am confident that today would not have been possible without God's intervention which I believe was a result of you praying.  Thank you so much!  Our paperwork journey here in Rwanda is over, but there is still much to be done in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.  We appreciate your continued support and prayers.

Some lessons for future adoptive families about this stage of the process:

• Take your USCIS I600A Filing Receipt.  This is a $670 mistake if you don't.  Our agency did not tell us to bring this.
• Actually, take ALL your adoption documents and receipts with you on the trip.  It's better to have everything then to need something that is back at home.
• Don't sign your I600 or even fill it out until you are at the Consulate.  And then DON'T sign it until you are standing in front of him/her and she tells you to.
• Double check all information on the passport for your adoptive child(ren)'s application to make sure it matches your other adoption documents (birth certificate, court ruling, letter from the ministry, etc.)
• When you get your passport, double check the information on it... especially the birth dates.
• Before you go to the Immigration Office or Consulate make sure all the birthdates for your children match on your various Rwandan documentation.  Keira's birthday is in May but do to documentation issues it will be January 1st on all her official documentation.

Day 4: Paperwork & Running Around

The girls are doing great. They slept well last night (mom & dad didn't though) and they're eating fairly well. After four days we actually got our first smile out of Keira today! The highlight seems to be how the two of them are bonding to each other. They enjoy playing, sitting and sleeping together. Check out this picture... they started sleeping about two feet apart and ended up holding each others hand :) This morning our sole purpose was to submit the paperwork to obtain Rwandan Passports for the girls. As with most things in Rwanda it was more complicated and took longer then expected. After arriving at the Immigration office and waiting for about 45 minutes we finally were able to talk to the agents. Our paperwork was fine however they would not accept the passport photos of the girls (the other families had the same issue.) The pictures were taken on a white cloth background where you could seen some folds in the cloth, they required a complete white background. They gave us 30 minutes to have new photos and return. All of us rushed to load up in the car, drive across town, get digital pictures taken, printed and return. It was quite a comedic event with 11 adults and 7 children loading in and out of our van. We drove super fast and it was probably the most in danger I've ever felt riding in a foreign country... we made it though! Typical passports take 5-10 days to process, however because we couldn't get our Letter of Travel from the Ministry until yesterday we need them done in 24 hours. We requested them to be expedited and after significant back and forth we think we will get it done. We will check back at 1PM tomorrow to see if they're done... if not it would mean we'd have to stay in Rwanda a few extra days next week. In the afternoon we all took much needed naps. Tonight we drove outside the city of Kigali to the country side. We also saw the area where two of the children (Keira being one of them) was found. Tonight we had another great dinner which lasted 2 1/2 hours. We're all learning a new level of patience and to enjoy the experience and not be rushed. :) Tomorrow we will go to the U.S. Embassy and file our Petition to bring an Orphan home and also pick-up our passports.