LifeChange

Update After One Week Home

We have been home as a family of five for one full week now.  What a week it has been.  It has been filled with highs and lows, as we all adjust to our expanded family and way of life.  We've been taking it a day at a time.  We've spent a lot of time overwhelmed and not sure what to do, but the joys and reminders from God along the way of His approval and guidance far outweigh any negatives.  Thought I'd provide a brief update on each of the kids and how they're adjusting...

Keira - what a change she's gone through.  A complete turnaround from the first few days we had here where she made no noise, had no expression and didn't move.  She is full of energy and smiles.  We had a battle with her the first few days about taking naps but she has now adjusted to her new schedule and routine.  She eats everything and would eat all day if we let her (as you can see by this picture.)  Not sure if she's still in orphanage mode (eat everything you can as you're not sure when the next chance to eat will be) or if her little body has a high metabolism.  The biggest struggle we have with her is she is really attached to Courtney and wants to be held A LOT.  She cries often when Courtney can't hold her for some reason.

Maya - Self confident, independent and intelligent would be how I'd describe her first week at home.  She obeys almost all our instructions and always wants to help out.  She's been very quiet (no noise unless she's laughing or afraid) so the doctor was a little concerned about that but we're going to give her 4-6 weeks to see how she progresses.  She also eats very well and actually feeds herself better then Noah does.  Biggest challenge with Maya are her tantrums she throws when she doesn't get something or gets in trouble.  I can tell we will never have to discipline her much, telling her No and giving her a stern look brings her to tears.  Funny note:  Maya is afraid of animals.  She has screamed multiple times when seeing our rocking horse, some of Noah's stuffed animals, or even an animal on TV.  Not sure if she's had a bad experience in the past or she just hasn't been around them much. Good thing we don't have any house pets... we've just got to get her used to the fake ones :)

Noah - High energy, likes to play and wants your attention.  We have noticed him being more needy and demanding our focus more then before, which is understandable.  We continue to work on his development and speech but continue to see progress.  We see a few instances each day where he plays the role of big brother and helps his sisters out or plays with them.  Most of the time he does his own thing unless a toy he wants is being used by someone else, then he exerts his size and age... so sharing is something we're working on a lot :)

Days #11 & #12: Heading Home

We made it!  We are now home on American soil, the girls have made it in the US, and we are reunited with Noah!  To finish our travel journey (as our journey of a family of five is just beginning) I thought I'd give you a quick recap of what happened.

Thursday - your prayers worked!  Everything went as we needed it to and described here.  "T" our AWAA representative picked up our visas just before the Embassy closed at 5PM.  Along with our visas each family was given a sealed yellow enveloped that could not be opened until we saw an immigration office at the point of re-entry in Washington D.C. We finished packing and head to the airport about 6:45PM for our 10:15PM flight out of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

Friday - The flight home went fairly well.  There were no flight delays or baggage issues which was good.  We learned in our flight from Rwanda that Maya has some difficulty when planes are descending and her ears would hurt but that didn't really happen until our final flight in to Indianapolis. 

We did get a prescription strength sedative (Kara, the mom in one of the other families is a nurse practitioner) that we gave to several of the kids to help them sleep.  This was a big help for several of the families and with Maya.  Keira slept very well (adoptive families - Benadryl works like this as well... this is what we used with Noah last time so be sure to take some)  Spending 26 hours in planes and airports is a long time for the kids so helping them get some sleep is important.  My Mom and Sister did an amazing job with the girls on the plane, especially Maya who can be stubborn at times.  Here's a picture of them with her.

When we got to D.C. we did learn that the IR-4 Visas had an error on them.  They said all the children were of Ethiopian nationality (not Rwandan) even though it had their birthplace right as Rwanda.  This is something we noticed on the flight home but at that point it was too late to do anything about it.  The Higgin's family got held up in Immigration for this, our officer did not catch it.  We were told this may cause issues during readoption so we'll see.  Lesson - double check all government documents you get from anywhere (remember one family had a similiar issue with their Rwandan Passport for their child in Rwanda with an incorrect birth date.)

Courtney's family and Kudzie were in the airport to welcome us home.  It was SOOOO good to see Noah again.  At first he was a little reserved and didn't respond to us, but after a few minutes he wouldn't let me sit him down (or give him to his Mom which Courtney didn't like.)  He seemed to have gotten bigger while we were gone (and I think we were also so used to holding Maya and Keira who are significantly smaller them him!) 

Anyways, we're back home now.  I'm writing this at 6AM Saturday morning.  The girls went to bed very well last night.  Maya woke up about 5AM but went back to sleep, I couldn't.  Feeling a little overwhelmed as we start our first full day as a family of five, but God spoke to me through this verse today:

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." - 2 Corinthians 8:9

Almost There... need some prayer

Tomorrow is (hopefully) our final day in Ethiopia. Everything we have done
in Rwanda and the last few days in Ethiopia have led up to this point. Here
is what needs to happen:

+ TB Tests are read for the kids over 2 years old, this includes Maya
(11:00AM)
+ TB test results and all medical info goes to Clinic for final processing
+ Clinic sends the medical info directly to the US Embassy (1:00PM)
+ We have our interview with the US Consulate officer (after 1:00PM)
+ We receive IR-4 Visas for each of the kids in their Rwandan Passports
(sometime before 5:00PM when the embassy closes)
+ We get on an Ethiopian Airlines flight and come home! (9:00PM)

That's what needs to happen tomorrow. The biggest catch is this: the
embassy says they don't do interviews in the afternoon, only the morning!

*We need you to pray for us. Pray for all the medical information to come
together and be fine. Pray for the US Consulate to break their normal
operating procedure and do something they say they won't do. Pray for favor
with the people involved and that we get everything done to bring our little
girls home!

God has blown us away countless times so far on this journey by making the
impossible possible and breaking down countless walls. I know He can do it
and I also know your prayers make a difference. Thank you for praying on
our behalf! *

If you don't see another post from me that means everything went well and
we're on our way home! We should arrive Friday at 1:49PM in Indianapolis.
You can see our itinerary here:
http://lifechange.typepad.com/lifechange/2009/09/rwanda-flight-itinerary.html

Day #10: Noah's Orphanage & Ethiopian Culture

Today was a nice change from the last few. We got a late start which
allowed us to sleep in. Maya and Keira continue to be outstanding in the
area of sleep and didn't wake up until almost 8:00AM!

The highlight of the day for us was visiting Kid's Care Orphanage here in
Addis Ababa. This is the orphanage our son Noah came from and where we
spent a lot of time two years ago when we were in Ethiopia. It was amazing
for us to get to return. We took a collage of pictures we made showing
everything from Noah's referral pictures to some current photos from this
summer. Esther, the director, was not there but one of the care-takers that
we remember from before was. She was so excited to see Noah's pictures, she
took them and kissed them several times. It was an emotional time both for
us and the care takers. There seemed to be a lot more kids, especially
older kids, then we remember from before. We kept thinking how Noah could
be one of those kids if we didn't adopt him. It made us very sad and made
us realize how much we miss him. We cannot wait to get home to see him!

Then we went to the Post Office area where there are a bunch of souvenir
shops. We bought a few items and then our wonderful daughter Keira decided
to knock a coffee cup off a shelf and break it. We then found out that it
was part of a 12 piece set that we ended up having to buy. After spending
300 birr on that unexpected purchase (about $25 US dollars) our souvenir
shopping was done. So if we didn't get you something you can thank Keira
:) Oh yeah, Keira also broke a plate last night at dinner by knocking it
off a table. Probably best to not invite us to your house for awhile once
we get back :)

Tonight we went to this traditional Ethiopian restaurant where we had
Ethiopian food and traditional Ethiopian dancing. It was a lot of fun. I
love Ethiopian food so I really enjoyed it. Everyone was a good sport about
it (especially my Mom and Sister) and tried the food... even though I think
many people left hungry. Also I saw my Mom and Shelley shaking and kind of
dancing like I haven't seen before. If I had a better internet connection I
would post the video but it'll have to wait until I get home.

Tomorrow we're off to the embassy and final part of the paperwork needed to
get our visas and leave tomorrow night. We need some major prayer cover for
that... I'll make another post shortly outlining what needs to happen.
Thanks in advance!

Day #9: More Embassy & Clinic Visits

Today was another one of those days that unfortunately has become normal for
us on this trip. We made two trips to the embassy, two trips to one clinic,
one trip to another clinic, and visited a translation office. While there
were several times of uncertainty in the end everything we needed to
accomplish was done today. God once again showed Himself faithful and in
charge of this whole process as He made the impossible possible and removed
several roadblocks that defy logic.

Now we wait until Thursday to read Maya's TB test (which we are praying is
negative), then we'll visit the US Embassy one last time for our interview
with the consulate and then hopefully get the girls' visas so we can leave
Thursday night. There's still many things that might not go accordingly to
plan so keep these final items in prayer. Pray for paperwork, favor and
Maya's TB test. We really want to leave Thursday night as planned and are
very ready to be home. We miss Noah so much and all of you, and we're
really ready to get into a routine and a normal schedule.

Wednesday should be a more relaxing day. Nothing on the schedule that must
be done so we'll do some sightseeing and enjoy the Ethiopian culture.

Day #8: Embassy, Medical Clinic, Lots Of Waiting...

Today was our first full day in Ethiopia. For this phase of our adoption
our goal is to complete all the steps needed to get a IR-4 Visa for each of
the children. This Visa will allow the children to travel and live in the
United States for up to a year until they get readopted. We spent this
morning filling out paperwork requesting our visa, proving that we can
financially support these children and that they will not be a burden on the
US Government.

Then we went to the embassy, a medical clinic, another medical clinic, lunch
and back to the first medical clinic. A major requirement of obtaining the
Visas is that all the children are checked for infectious diseases which
means blood work, TB tests and a general physical. Also for the children
are over two there are some additional tests needed like a stool sample.
For families adopting from Ethiopia this is all done ahead of time before
the family travels, but for Rwandan families this must wait to get done when
the family gets to Ethiopia so that US Embassy approved medical clinics and
tests can be used.

In our guest house there are eight other families working with America World
that are adopting Ethiopian children. It's been fun meeting them and
hearing their stories. AWAA has done 160 adoptions so far this year and
have a large staff here in Ethiopia. It's amazing how much the program has
grown since we adopted Noah back in May 2007 as we were only the second
family to adopt from Ethiopia through AWAA. Because of the staff and
infrastructure in Ethiopia everything we need to do has been more organized
and is getting accomplished quicker than Rwanda where adoptions are still
new.

Day #7: Goodbye Rwanda, Hello Ethiopia!

Today was our last day in Rwanda.  This morning we went to the orphanage.  We got to take a tour and see all the different children areas and also where they care for the elderly and disabled.  It was an emotional time as all the Sisters that worked with Maya and Keira were coming up hugging them and saying goodbye.  You could tell it was bittersweet for the Sisters as they were sad the girls are leaving but happy they have found a home.

The flight to Ethiopia went well untill about the last 15 minutes and then it became the most stressful flight I've ever been on... Maya decided she would start screaming (which she can do well) and did it for 15 minute straight.  We're not sure if it was because of the altitude change, the lights being turned out, her being super tired, or she just decided to throw a tantrum. 

Then we spent the next 2 hours in the Ethiopian Airport waiting in lines.  Most of the time was waiting for our Ethiopian visas which every person arriving to Ethiopia must get.  It took awhile as our children's request for visas had to be escalated to the Chief Officer of Ethiopian Immigration as they rarely give visas to Rwandans on arrival (they typically have to apply for a visa several weeks ahead of time.)  However since they were all children they decided sending them back on a plane to Rwanda wasn't feasable :)

We arrived at the Yebasabi Guest House tonight about 9:00PM.  It's a great place to stay, much nicer then where we stayed in Rwanda and even nicer then the Hilton we stayed in last time in Ethiopia.  Right no we're extremely tired and have an early start tomorrow.  Goodnight!

Day 6: Lake, Party & Our Girls

Today was a very relaxing day compared to the last few.  This morning we drove an hour out of the city to this lake where we had a picnic.  It was great to see more of the Rwandan countryside.  Rwanda is a beautiful country with lots of hills (it's called "The Land Of A Thousand Hills") and a variety of vegetation as you change altitudes.  In the city of Kigali it looks more tropical while out in the country there were trees and pine trees which reminded us of the U.S.  Here's a picture of us on one of the dock's at the lake.

Tonight we went the Nyanja's house (she's the lady that is our host and directs the activities in Rwanda, interfacing wtih our adoption agency (she doesn't work for them)... pictured below with all our adopted children) for her son Solomon's three year old birthday party.  There were about 30 other adults and kids there (see kids in picture to left.)  It was fun to experience a Rwandan 'party' while eating some amazing food.  Watching her son really made Courtney and I miss Noah.  We called him when we got back to the hotel and are really looking forward to coming home to see him soon!

Nyanja also gave each of the mom's a traditional Rwandan wrap that mothers use to carry their children.  Then Nyanja and her Mom showed us how to use them.  You can see Courtney below carrying Maya around.  Maya loved it!  I guess it's supposed to be extremely relaxing and soothing for the children.  I told Courtney she can carry one of the kids around while she does work around the house or cut hair... she didn't like that idea :)

The highlight of the day was the progress our girls made.  Up until today Keira had been pretty inexpressive, inactive and just wanted to be held or lay there.  However, after six days of being with us she finally started opening up!  She smiled and even laughed several times throughout the day.  She started jibber jabbing some and started moving around a lot.  Now we're having a hard time getting her stay still for a nap or diaper change.

Maya also is becoming more expressive.  She is definitely recognizing us as her parents and preferring us to other adults which is a good sign.  Both girls also had a lot of fun playing with Grandma tonight back in the hotel room.  Grandma said she is worn out!

For those parents adopting, what we've been experiencing is common.  These kids are going through a dramatic event in their lives that they don't really understand. They are overwhelmed with new attention and new people, while at the same times grieving the loss of everything that was normal in their life.  It's normal for some kids to take days or even weeks before you see their true personalities.  I don't think we're there with Maya or Keira yet but we are making progress which is encouraging!

Day 5: Chaos & Progress

Wow, today was a crazy day.  It got off to a wonderful start as we all had an outstanding night of sleep.  The girls are turning out to be wonderful sleepers like their big brother Noah.  Thank you to everyone that has been praying specifically for this as your prayers are working!

First thing on the schedule was the U.S. Embassy which we have been told (and from our experience in Ethiopia) should be straight forward and quick.  I knew it was going to be a long day because while we were at security a Special Agent came out from the embassy, introduced himself and pulled my mom and another guy in the group aside.  They had taken pictures of the embassy and the Special Agent was checking to see if they had security cameras in the picture.  The other guy in our group was fine, my mom was not... she had to delete her picture.  Can't take my Mom anywhere without her causing trouble! :)  He was nice and helped her take this picture of the embassy though.

Over the next 6 hours we were in the embassy at the US Consulate Office three times and the Rwandan Immigration office three times.  Thankfully the two buildings are only about 4 blocks apart, but carrying bags, kids and lots of paper work made for a very stressful time.  Every family in our group had paperwork issues at some point.  For most of the day it looked like we would have to stay in Rwanda a few extra days and our trip to Ethiopia would also be extended.  However, even through all the chaos, stress, tears,and uncertainty God showed up countless times.  Instead of giving a detailed account of what happened (as that would take awhile) I'll just share some of the ways God intervened today:

• We forgot a receipt we needed... the Consulate let us not pay the amount today and wait until Ethiopia next week.  She shouldn't do this!  Also, tonight my good friend Michael Dean spent two hours looking for the receipt and sending me electronic copies of it!
• Rwandan Passports were ready on time!  This wasn't expected as we turned in our applications yesterday.
• One family needed a passport re-issued... happened in 1 hour.  That NEVER happens... especially in a country where time has little meaning.
• The Consulate stayed 3 1/2 hours late just to help us!  She missed a 9/11 celebration, embassy cookout, and shortened a meeting with her boss (the US Ambassador to Rwanda) to accommodate us.
• Extreme favor with security guards, the Consulate, the Rwandan Immigration office, and our driver.  All these individuals played key roles in our day and while at first were not willing to cooperate, and should not have done what they did... in the end they DID! 

I know so many of you are praying for us.  I am confident that today would not have been possible without God's intervention which I believe was a result of you praying.  Thank you so much!  Our paperwork journey here in Rwanda is over, but there is still much to be done in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.  We appreciate your continued support and prayers.

Some lessons for future adoptive families about this stage of the process:

• Take your USCIS I600A Filing Receipt.  This is a $670 mistake if you don't.  Our agency did not tell us to bring this.
• Actually, take ALL your adoption documents and receipts with you on the trip.  It's better to have everything then to need something that is back at home.
• Don't sign your I600 or even fill it out until you are at the Consulate.  And then DON'T sign it until you are standing in front of him/her and she tells you to.
• Double check all information on the passport for your adoptive child(ren)'s application to make sure it matches your other adoption documents (birth certificate, court ruling, letter from the ministry, etc.)
• When you get your passport, double check the information on it... especially the birth dates.
• Before you go to the Immigration Office or Consulate make sure all the birthdates for your children match on your various Rwandan documentation.  Keira's birthday is in May but do to documentation issues it will be January 1st on all her official documentation.

Day 4: Paperwork & Running Around

The girls are doing great. They slept well last night (mom & dad didn't though) and they're eating fairly well. After four days we actually got our first smile out of Keira today! The highlight seems to be how the two of them are bonding to each other. They enjoy playing, sitting and sleeping together. Check out this picture... they started sleeping about two feet apart and ended up holding each others hand :) This morning our sole purpose was to submit the paperwork to obtain Rwandan Passports for the girls. As with most things in Rwanda it was more complicated and took longer then expected. After arriving at the Immigration office and waiting for about 45 minutes we finally were able to talk to the agents. Our paperwork was fine however they would not accept the passport photos of the girls (the other families had the same issue.) The pictures were taken on a white cloth background where you could seen some folds in the cloth, they required a complete white background. They gave us 30 minutes to have new photos and return. All of us rushed to load up in the car, drive across town, get digital pictures taken, printed and return. It was quite a comedic event with 11 adults and 7 children loading in and out of our van. We drove super fast and it was probably the most in danger I've ever felt riding in a foreign country... we made it though! Typical passports take 5-10 days to process, however because we couldn't get our Letter of Travel from the Ministry until yesterday we need them done in 24 hours. We requested them to be expedited and after significant back and forth we think we will get it done. We will check back at 1PM tomorrow to see if they're done... if not it would mean we'd have to stay in Rwanda a few extra days next week. In the afternoon we all took much needed naps. Tonight we drove outside the city of Kigali to the country side. We also saw the area where two of the children (Keira being one of them) was found. Tonight we had another great dinner which lasted 2 1/2 hours. We're all learning a new level of patience and to enjoy the experience and not be rushed. :) Tomorrow we will go to the U.S. Embassy and file our Petition to bring an Orphan home and also pick-up our passports.